Friday, November 1, 2013

you are the light of the world

I'll admit it - I have control issues. What comes with that (possibly) negative trait though is that I'm a terrific organizer, hard worker, unquestionably reliable and fiercely loyal. The downside of that is some amount of fearfulness and disappointment. It's just who I am, clearly a coping mechanism that developed out of necessity as a child. That's not a blaming statement. It just is what it is.

That said though, as an adult I know that letting the universe of outside influences determine the quality of your life is kind of like the tail wagging the dog. It's important to bring your best self to each day and to live well, no matter what gets thrown at you. It's important that we put ourselves out there, whether we see a direct impact on the world or not. Because, every  time you take a chance and put yourself out there you ARE impacting someone or something. You are adding a bit of light.

The hard lesson here though, is that you're going to get knocked down from time to time. No matter how well you plan, no matter how well you live, out of control things are going to happen. A lump will develop, a plane will fly into a building, a deer will leap into the road, other people will be inhumane. When that happens, pick yourself back up, respond as you need to, face your fear and begin again.

Be generous, be kind, give love, seek joy, be compassionate, seek peace and balance, be curious, live well. It just doesn't make sense to live any other way.


Tracy Altieri said...


live and learn said...

I like control also. It comes from being an anxious person--not from my past but from my wiring. Unfortunately, as you stated, there is not way to control everything. Such is a life that is lived.

Kathleen Merrick said...

well said Bev, I to have the "c" word, and it has been a challenge over this decade of my life to always see the positive affects of controlling. I remember myself as a kid, so carefree, sally-come-lately, kay-sarra-sarra kind of girl. when does all that change? with this big move that I just made moving my business to a new commercial space, I thought I had it all under-control, and then boom! 2 therapist need to leave our "golden-circle" and we now are down to only 4, and business is what is a girl to do, just hire some new therapist or ask all who remain to work more? how did it all get so big? how is it that my controlling has taken an identity and force of it's own. I find with the controlling comes a fair amount of grief. grief inside me, for not allowing life to unfold as it should, or struggling with the "allowing" and grief for with my habit of having a tighter grasp, and grief for loosing more and more of the care-free girl of 14 years old.