Friday, January 30, 2015

on riding the wave

Let's face it, life is sometimes hard, love sometimes hurts, people can be unkind, things aren't always fair. Sometimes it seems like the universe is clobbering you, day after day. You face an endless stream of things going wrong and you get to the point that you want to scream "UNCLE!" out to the cosmos. Some lasting life lessons can emerge out of the worst circumstances and out of our biggest mistakes too. You just have to ride that wave to arrive at something better.
It's hard to remember during these tough times that you are tougher. Dig deep to find something to be grateful for every day, to find something beautiful every day. Pull up the courage to be different (it's not only ok, it's great!), and to do something nice for someone else. Realize there are things you just can't change so give yourself a break, do things that help you let go of stress, simplify where you can, love generously, play hard, sing loud, dance wildly and hug often. Remember to take care of yourself. Nothing lasts forever. Wounds heal, night turns to morning, rain gives way to sunshine, and Winter gives way to Spring.
Last year I was healing from a deep betrayal when I was suddenly confronted with a subpoena to appear in court as a witness in a nasty lawsuit. The summoner was threatening, the pre-trial deposition was horrifying and reduced me to tears, lawyers were cruel and manipulative and the whole deal was a disgusting show of human greed.
Just a few days before I was to appear in court as a witness, a couple of friends invited me to a party at their house. I was so stressed I could barely take a full breath or unclench my jaw, but I went anyway. We shared food, sang songs, played games and ended the evening in their backyard. We circled a bonfire where piles of dried Christmas trees blazed, filling the night with dancing sparks and pungent, lovely aroma. It was exactly what I needed in that moment and I didn't even know it. I silently gave thanks for these good friends and for those brief hours that allowed me to escape the nightmare I'd be facing when the sun came up again.

And the sun did come up and with my husband by my side, I walked up the courthouse steps and faced the ordeal. The point of that tale is that the nightmare did end and the unexpected good that came out of it was a new-found strength in myself, an even tighter connection to my husband, the answers I needed to understand the cause of the heart-wrenching betrayals of the previous year, and a truly memorable evening with good friends.
The lesson here is that even though life may be really hard at the moment, there is still some good that can be discovered. Your ordeal isn't going to last forever so you can take a deep breath and know that you're going to get through this. You get a second chance and you get to begin again. And if you're really lucky, you'll get to watch your miseries float away in a blaze of glowing Christmas trees.

1 comment:

♥ tinyWOOLF ♥ said...

well, there's a circle, if any. i'm so very happy for you you kept going. dark times do try us so, but living through them, with what little help we get (and like you say, unexpected evenings will be there if we open our hearts and minds), we seem to get born into an upgraded self. it sounds pretty silly, but i've felt it this way regularly.
good on you, bev.